Greatness. Unwittingly.

6th April, 2005. 23:00. Ohri's - the restaurant on Road No. 12.

'Shit man, Oka would leave us and go.'

'Yeah, Amit is going to feel very lonely.'

'Forget that. I am gonna lose a steady source of income. Whom will I con now?'

'Shut up, guys !'

'You know whats the worst thing about Oka leaving ?'

'What?'

'The rent will be divided by 3.'

Laughter.

'Oka, you have to get someone else to fill your place here, otherwise dont even expect to get back your deposit.'

More laughter as Amit takes off with me in close pursuit.


6th April, 2005 appeared no different from other days. I still hadnt begun to pursue my lifelong ambition of ironing all my clothes on the weekends to keep them clean and ready for the oncoming week.
The result? I was once again looking around the house for a clean shirt to wear to office.

Fatefully (like what happens in the movies), I stumbled upon my suitcase, and it flew open. And there in a plastic cover was the off-white shirt which I had worn for my IIM-interviews.

Without a hint of what was in store for me that day, I put it on and left for office.


'Okay, fine. No cocktails. I'll order 4 mocktails.'

'Yeah, dont turn us into drunkards. We've never had alcohol and we dont intend to.'

'Uh, could you get us a Mango Bloom, a Pussy Foot, a Blue Curacao and a...', Kaushik looked around the table 'umm.. a Daiquiri, cranberry flavour.'

As we watch the waiter leave, Amit speaks up.

'You know what, I am going to do exactly what Oka does. From now on, I am going to act all high-handed and arrogant. I wont get the water refill, I wont wash my plates, I wont do any household chore. Then maybe the next year, I'll get in as well.'

'Believe me, if arrogance was the criteria, you'd get into Harvard Business School'.

'Yeah, I am going to borrow Oka's jail shorts and I am going to roam around the house bare chested, and shamelessly keep sitting half-naked even when a girl enters the apartment.'

'I am going to download the rule booklet of Age of Empires. I am going to learn how to play it.'

'But you've to learn how to play it badly as well.'

Manish dodges as I throw a tissue at him.

'The most important thing. I am going to get a kilo of soot, and smear it all over my face. After that I'll try to use Fair and Lovely over that and try hopelessly to get rid of the color.'

Amit gets it again from me.


I unlocked my computer with the familiar uneasy feeling of seeing a few unfriendly mails from my superiors in headquarters.
Normalcy returned, after I went through the new mails in my inbox once and then checked them again to make sure my ass wasnt on fire.

The work quota for the morning fulfilled, I opened the yahoo messenger, the website www.orkut.com and the website www.pagalguy.com.
Pagalguy is a discussion forum for aspiring MBA students. Basically its a place on the internet where people'd get together to know and let know, news and information about events. One such post was,

"IIM-K results are out !!!!!!!'

Well, I hadnt had an interview call from IIM-K. And the ones from which I had a call from, IIM-A for example, werent expected to announce their results until next week.

Slouching in my chair, with a sense of extreme lethargy, I opened the IIM-A website. There was a link which I had used a few months earlier to check the results of the first round of admissions.

With nothing better to do, I clicked on it and entered my test registration number and birth of date.


'Hey Manish, why does your mocktail look like that ?'

'Whats wrong with it ?'

'It reminds me of Surf Excel.'

'Good though. Let him drink it. It will clean all the shit thats inside him.'

'Guys, guys, lets exchange drinks. Each of you, pass your drink to the next person.' said Kaushik as he passed his drink to me.

As I sipped on Kaushik's drink, I felt something warm pass down my throat. Something was different.

5 minutes later, after each of us had a sip of all the drinks, 'Kaushik, what was that? That wasnt a mocktail, was it ?'

'No, that was a cocktail. Rum with a hint of cranberries.'

Amit looks at Kaushik with a shocked expression on his face.

'YOU ARE PATHETIC !!!'


The site took quite a while to open, while I lazily sipped on my Real Orange juice, wondering why do I even drink it. It tasted like buffalo vomit.

The following message appeared on the screen; a message which was quite similar to what I had expected, but not the same.

"You have been selected for admission to PGP (2005-2007 batch), IIMA.

Note: Our formal admission offer letter is being sent by Registered Post. You will have to send us your formal written acceptance and return the other documents enclosed with the admission offer by May 9, 2005. In the meanwhile, please indicate to us by e-mail admission@iimahd.ernet.in your decision on this admission offer, quoting your name and Test Registration Number"

After reading it for about 15 times, I sank into my seat.

IIM-A results were out. And I had made it.


'Guys, lets raise a toast. Maybe we could say something now about this fucker. Amit do you want to start ?'

'Yeah.
I am a happy man today.
I have been praying for a long time, asking God to somehow get rid of Oka. He has finally answered my prayers. And may no one have the misfortune of being Oka's room-mate in future.'

'Amen.'

When they stopped laughing, Manish spoke, as I listened expectantly, hoping he'd say something not that obvious.

'Oka.
'Dont forget to use Fair and Lovely, but remember that whatever you do, you wouldnt become as fair as Amit.'

I rolled my eyes as they had another laugh at my expense.

'Ok my turn now.' Kaushik said.

We turned towards him.

'Some people are born great.

'Some people achieve greatness in course of their life.

'Then there are some people who have greatness thrust upon them.

'But how many pathetic fuckers are there, who, after having greatness thrusted upon them, behave as if its the most obvious thing in the world ?'